i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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