at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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