I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize