dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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