Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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