Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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