Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize