Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize