I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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