i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
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I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
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Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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