if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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