She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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