i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize