I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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