so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
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Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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is that a dick in a sweater?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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