i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize