Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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