she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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