Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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