It's Friday. Sex?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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