Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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