Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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