every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize