Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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