YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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