actually, I'm a sock model
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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