WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
time to smoke my breakfast
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize