1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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