You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize