At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize