she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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