Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize