After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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