Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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