Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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