She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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