let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize