she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize