I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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