so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize