We named our party play list daddy issues
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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