at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
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I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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