he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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