You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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