she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
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only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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