WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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