Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
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Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
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Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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