I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize