It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
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He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
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I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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