This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize